The first step is to realise most Australian’s can’t pronounce “Svalbard” or “Longyearbyen” and “Spitsbergen” is only a slight improvement. Sadly many also haven’t read “His Dark Materials”, therefore remaining unaware of the polar bear island.
Therefore, it is important to remember that when one says “I’m going up North”, most people are going to assume Cairns, or Brisbane, or maybe Darwin. So, if anyone can come up with a smooth way of saying “I’m going to the Arctic” without sounding like a nob, there’s a prize there for you.
2. Overdose on Sunshine
Spend days and days down the beach where possible in the hope of overdosing on vitamin D, enough to survive for a month. Though I suspect this isn’t actually possible, it is fun.
3. Shop for “Warm” clothes
In Melbourne, in Summer, when it’s pushing 40 degrees outside.
Not easy, particularly when the sales assistants are unaware of Arctic conditions and think a nice hip length raincoat will cut it. But we made it in the end!
4. Imagine 24hr darkness
5. Find head torch and tea
Head torch found, spare batteries found, bag filled with proper tea
6. Stare at summery things
And absorb… things like trees, leaves, sand, sun, blue skies, clouds
7. Still don’t believe you’re going